Relationship Break-ups, How Do They Affect? – Being Parents
Some of the most traumatic situations that a human being can go through are relationship break-ups. When this happens, our brains are faced with high levels of stress. And sometimes even physical pain.
This is demonstrated by numerous studies which analyze the behavior of the brain in the face of this situation. It is therefore not surprising that this situation deeply affects our lives.
Why do ruptures affect us so much?
When we are a family, we create the most intimate thing about relationships. Among other things, members pass on values, customs and beliefs, and this is where we build our identity.
On all of the above are our self-esteem, our standards of behavior and our relationships with others.
The family provides us with a framework of physical and emotional security in the face of changes in life. This is why when there is separation, very deep themes are touched which shake the foundations of each of the members that make up this nucleus.
Each of the people involved can have different experiences in the face of this rupture and all are valid:
- There are those who experience a sense of hopelessness when they see that they have not been able to accomplish what they set out to do.
- Others interpret the breakup as a failure.
- Low self-esteem is very common. It causes a feeling of guilt and a questioning of our lives.
- Even when we feel free, the symptoms of grieving for changes in the family appear.
The stages of mourning in the breakup of a couple
Psychologists agree in saying that the break-up of a couple is experienced as mourning in all stages. It depends on each person and the tools they have to deal with the length of each stage. But do you know what these steps are?
1. Denial
As the name suggests, it is all about denying reality and thinking that everything will be the same or better than before. The impact is such that we tend to protect ourselves. That’s why we generate this feeling. It is important to be aware of what it is, to experience it and to let it happen without holding onto it or judging it.
2. Anger
Then comes the anger, the anger projected on the person who ended the relationship. We no longer want to see what is happening, but to blame the other person for everything that has happened. There are also those who can blame themselves. The desire for revenge is frequent.
3. Negotiation
At this point, we try to understand the other, to accept what has happened and to come together again. If it is not handled well, we run the risk of believing that there can be reconciliation. Which would make matters worse.
4. Depression
Even if it doesn’t sound like it, this is where the real work begins. The person has accepted that there is no going back and that is where the sadness overwhelms him. She may be feeling worse than before, but she finally realizes that her relationship is over and that sooner or later she will have to take charge of her life.
5. Acceptance
Little by little, the sadness leaves us and the feeling that there is a future beyond this rupture becomes more and more real. We rediscover the desire to live, to meet new people and even to find ourselves as a couple again.
The consequences that breakups can leave us
As you can see, a breakup greatly affects our mental, emotional and even physical health. From there, consequences can obviously arise.
– Depression. Although this is one of the natural and healthy stages of grief, it is common for many people to get trapped in it and do not know how to get out of this cycle of sadness. They can end up isolating themselves more and more and transform this phase into something chronic.
– Anxiety. Fear of an uncertain future causes the onset of anxiety, sometimes accompanied by the inability to sleep.
– Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): when relationship breaks up are violent, PTSD can occur, especially when there has been violence.
– Low self-esteem. Loss brings out hopelessness and guilt. You then end up losing your self-esteem.
Break-ups are difficult situations to face, but not impossible, especially if you have the help you need to overcome them. If you identify any of these symptoms, see a specialist who can advise you on how to get out of this situation and build a new life.
