Peer Rejection: The Problem Of Excluded Children – Being Parents

One of the big challenges children face is building personal relationships with peers of the same age. This promotes the social and psychological development of the little one. Indeed, there is stability, intimacy, protection as well as emotional support.

However, this learning process is sometimes hampered by peer rejection , a problem that continues to worsen.

What is peer rejection?

Basically,  it can be defined as the degree of repudiation an individual suffers from from people of his age. Usually he is disliked and suffers from insults from others and low self-esteem. These are attitudes that result in certain changes in behavior.

It is the opposite of social acceptance, where the person is admitted, loved and recognized. The comrades therefore seek to associate with her.

“Peer rejection can be defined as the degree of repudiation an individual suffers from people of his or her age”

The causes of peer rejection

Rejection is a complex attitude that requires an approach from an acceptance point of view. Experience shows that peer rejection is preceded by the following causes:

• The behavior of the excluded. Generally speaking, this is an individual who does not control his physical and verbal impulses. Which can sometimes rush the rest of the group.
• A constant justification of the attitudes displayed. Sometimes the person blames others for some of their actions. This further increases exclusion.
• Frustration on the part of the rejected. This combines with depression, hostility, isolation, among others.
• Shy children  from different social classes or from different countries.

The rejection process incorporates variables that are not limited to the attitudes of the excluded person. Indeed,  it is a situation in which all the actors who make up the child’s environment intervene: teachers, family and classmates.

When a child is rejected, they lose the opportunity to build positive relationships and develop skills that stimulate their social and psychological development.

How do you know if a child is being rejected?

It is estimated that 15% of children experience rejection from their peers. This sometimes triggers bullying at school. Therefore,  determining whether a child is going through this situation can help prevent future consequences.  The most common attitudes among excluded children tend to be:

• Aggressive and unpleasant behavior  that makes it difficult to interact with the rest of the group.
• Anxious and impulsive attitudes  which cause children to get angry quickly and more easily.
• Angry outbursts, lack of attention  and common insolence.
• Isolation, withdrawal into oneself and shyness.
• In very young children,  crying is common. Like pretending to be physically ill and begging not to be excluded in the establishment.

The consequences of peer rejection

The consequences of peer rejection can arise as time goes on. Some of them can be:

Short term consequences

Being the victim of peer rejection can lead to psychological sequelae that affect interpersonal experiences with any individual. On the other hand,  it can also lead to loss of interest in activities that previously seemed exciting  as well as low self-esteem.

On the other hand, this experience can trigger  anxiety, depression, eating and emotional disorders,  among others.

“It is estimated that 15% of children experience rejection from their peers”

Medium-term consequences

If the behaviors are not addressed in time, the situation can get worse. Therefore, fear of school activities is quite common. This results in a drop in yield and a high probability of failure.

Self-image is also affected, which leads to depression, aggressive or self-destructive reactions.

In the social sphere, often the  climate of mistrust prevents socialization with friends or even relatives or family. At this point, the rejected person becomes a victim and needs help immediately.

Long term consequences

Over time,  rejection destroys self-esteem and promotes aggression. Therefore, the person can present the following behaviors:

• Absenteeism from school or work.
• Vandalism, theft, drug addiction and delinquency.
• Thoughts of suicide and social isolation.
• Generalized nervousness, anxiety and fears.
• Tendency to  rejection at any age.

What can we do ?

As parents, representatives or educators, the ideal is to assess all the causes of rejection and act on them immediately.  All participants in the youth’s environment should be included in order to encourage integration as well as cooperative learning.

Likewise, it is advisable to  provide the tools so that the child can integrate effectively into groups without being rejected.

Ultimately, peer rejection is a situation that can lead to long-term anxiety and depression issues. Therefore,  acting quickly helps prevent future sequelae. In addition, it stimulates the social and psychological development of the little one.