I Am A Mother, And Sometimes I Feel Lonely – Being Parents

If you know this feeling, know that you are not the only one. We also shouldn’t think of these thoughts or one-off discomfort as a direct symptom of depression.

In fact, it is a completely normal psychological process and associated with this mutual dependence that we establish during the first months with babies.

Every woman manages her motherhood in a way. There are those who, indeed, live motherhood in solitude because they have chosen it. Others have to deal with long hours alone while their partners are at work. Having family far away and friends with their own responsibilities means that on many occasions the mother feels lonely and isolated on her particular island.

We invite you to explore this well-known subject: the feeling of loneliness in parenthood.

When I feel alone with my baby

A few months ago the magazine on pregnancy and motherhood “Mamma Mia” published an interesting article telling the personal story of an Australian mother, who had commented on her social networks having left her daughter of 10 years old. month alone for seven minutes to go shopping.

The controversy was very intense for several days. However and beyond the risk of leaving our children alone, even if it was only for 5 minutes, this resulted in another more subtle, more delicate and not always highlighted problem: that of loneliness, that of the total and absolute dependence that mothers have on their children during the first years.

The double complexity of motherhood

In our society, it is very common to see motherhood as both the most complete and the most satisfying period for a woman, and this is arguably the case for most women. However, if we specify the data a little more: it is satisfying but not always easy, and this happiness is not at the same level every day of the year or during the 24 hours.

• Motherhood obliges us in the first place, to change roles. A woman ceases to be her own priority to shift all of her energy and emotional world to the newborn.
• Sometimes, all this emotional and psychic investment results in the appearance of doubts and fears. “Am I doing it right? Is he comfortable? Is something hurting him? ”

• This dependence is often established throughout the day on an interrupted basis and over several months – or even years.
• Their professional aspirations are often put aside, their friendships are not the same and sometimes even this freer intimacy that we had with our partners changes. We are fathers and mothers, and now the priorities are different.
• The asphyxiated mother is not a depressed or desperate mother. These are normal situations that we find especially with the first child.

For this reason and in order to better manage this feeling and to avoid above all that a situation of stress or anxiety arises, it is necessary to make small changes and face the situation.

Distribute responsibilities and have a good support network

There is one aspect we must keep in mind: being a mother does not mean putting up walls around us to continue feeding this invisible umbilical cord with our children in solitude.

We need to understand that if we are not well, we will project that same discomfort onto the baby. In order for education to be quality, happy and satisfying, responsibilities must be distributed. The father also has a fundamental position, and even our parents are a great help in daily life.

Take note of these simple tips that are worth considering.

Go for a walk, don’t spend all day at home

Our schedules are based, during the first months, on breastfeeding, feedings, naps and the regular needs of the baby.

Even though we know that following appropriate habits and routines is a priority in education, it is necessary and healthy that we establish outdoor outings, walks, “little sunbaths” and this social contact is essential for our well-being and that of the baby, and so that he begins to have new stimuli.

The need to have a support network

Whether you are a couple or a single parent family, you need a support network on a daily basis. The sharing of responsibilities is always appropriate and necessary.

Also, the fact of relying, for example, on friends who are also mothers is something wonderful to feel taken care of, to relieve doubts, to release tensions and to release those occasional fears that may arise.

Fun activities with our baby

As our baby grows, it is possible to perform fun activities with him that will allow him to develop in a more optimal way, and also, to strengthen the bonds with them.

• There are centers where we can, for example, do yoga with our babies.
• Swimming for babies is also a fun activity where you can share experiences with other parents and also improve the psychomotor skills of the little ones.

As you can see, it is simply a matter of understanding that to enjoy our motherhood, we also need the contact with our friends, the support of our partners and the enabling environment that we learn every day in the company of our children.

It’s a worthwhile adventure, and while feeling lonely is normal, there are many options for defending yourself against this feeling.