How Do I Prevent Children From Seeking Approval From Others? – Being Parents

A situation which is in principle quite normal can become a problem for those children who constantly seek the approval of others.

But is it good that kids always need adult approval? From a guardian, a parent or even an equal? Not really, it’s not always positive. Because it can damage their safety, their image and their self-esteem.

Recall that if a child grows and develops insecure and constantly doubting himself, this is how he will behave for the rest of his life. So, if we don’t want our children to end up growing into adults with low self-esteem and bad childhood memories, it’s important to prevent them from seeking the approval of others at all times.

The first experiences are therefore essential and will mark the personality of a child throughout his life. It is therefore necessary for the child to develop in a safe and supportive environment. With clear boundaries, without excessive feelings of frustration and with high self-esteem, neither weak nor exaggerated.

Why should children be prevented from seeking the approval of others?

Basically, the young child experiences two environments in which a large part of their little life takes place: family and school. If we take a closer look, we can see that for more than three quarters of the day a child is at school or at home.

What does that mean ? That in order to work on the safety of the child and prevent him from constantly seeking the approval of others, we must focus on both environments, family and school.

The child at home

It is normal for a child to be dependent on his parents for affection, support and protection. However, if the adult does not naturalize this fact, it could affect the child’s self-esteem.

In other words, a parent should instill confidence in their children so that they know that they don’t have to earn their approval and affection. In this way, it will be easier for the child to avoid always seeking the respect and love of his parents.

With a solid education, children know they have the right to have their own opinions, to approve of themselves, to be more confident and to believe in their possibilities without always having to ask for help, approval. and the opinion of adults.

But this should not be confused with paternal and maternal attitudes that are overprotective or overly rigid. It is not about raising submissive and obedient children, but responsible and able to manage themselves properly.

Always listening to prevent children from seeking the approval of others

We must therefore maintain a constant positive attitude of active listening. In this way, we will be able to understand the child, know his opinions, give them importance, and allow him to express them and to feel respected and loved. Without at any time believing that this could lead us to withdraw our affection and our love from him.

However, we also want to clarify that if a behavior is inappropriate or if an opinion does not seem adequate, our position is contrary to theirs.

School

In this sense, we must always remember that the school also plays an essential socializing role in the formation of the child. In the classroom, they can effectively seek the constant approval of teachers or their peers in order to feel included.

That is why teachers should ensure that children build strong and solid self-esteem. So that their relationships don’t become problematic, toxic or overly dependent.

Remember that preventing children from seeking the approval of others serves to prevent abuse. Teachers must therefore show children that they have affection and respect for them. And that being more or less dependent will not change the situation.

It is essential that every child knows that their principles and their way of being matter. We must respect them unconditionally. So that they don’t feel like they have to constantly seek approval from anyone.

In short, there may be some behaviors of the child that need to be corrected. But knowing how to prevent children from constantly seeking the approval of others means solving any problems that arise without affecting the child’s self-esteem and confidence.