Do Children Behave Less Well With Their Parents? – Being Parents

Surely you have seen children who, as it is so often said, “wise as a picture.” But at home, the situation is totally different. Are there really children who behave less well with their parents? Below we will look at this topic and try to explain this change in behavior.

Although it is disheartening for many mothers and fathers,  this situation happens very often. And it happens for different reasons. We realize this when parents leave their children at home with their grandparents, uncles and aunts, or a nanny. On their return, they are about to hear the child behaved badly. Or that he was temperamental and refused to eat what was prepared for him. However, none of this is happening.

On the contrary, their comments are totally the opposite of your expectations. Rather, they highlight the kindness and good behavior of the child. This is when parents start to wonder about a lot of things, including their way of raising their children. How can there be children who behave less well with their parents?

Reasons why some children behave less well with their parents

First, we must consider that the bond between a child and its mother is unique. Therefore,  the child cannot express his emotions freely  with anyone other than her . This means that the child can pay a little more attention to his behavior in front of people he does not know as well as his parents.

On the other hand, there is also a need for attention that cannot be ignored. Through crying, complaining and even bad behavior, the child always gets what he wants: the attention of his mother. This is also valid when it comes to negative attention. Children are often scolded for their bad behavior. However, the  fact that a child has to behave badly in order to get its mother’s attention is not natural. It is a problem to be corrected quickly.

Do they behave better with their fathers?

This can also happen. This means that  the  children can have a better behavior in the company of their father than their mother. There are many theories in this regard. First, they spend less time with him. This motivates them to take advantage of his presence. Or, mothers “have less authority”.

In reality, it has a lot to do with what we mentioned earlier. Being the person “closest” to them,  the mother becomes a person in whom the children have complete confidence. This, of course, gives them the right to demand whatever they want in a way they wouldn’t do with anyone else.

The mom is the one children turn to when they need something. In addition, if a situation bothers them, or they find it unfair or uncomfortable, they will undoubtedly seek to make it known. Bad behavior can become the method they choose to do it.

How to deal with children who behave badly?

We now know the causes of bad behavior in children. But  q ue can parents do in such cases? These tips can be helpful for those in this situation.

Give them time and attention

This is the first step in establishing a healthy relationship with children. Spend time with them. Help them with their homework. And, of course, have fun together.

Another practice that can be very helpful is to let them participate in decisions. Children often behave less well with their parents because they don’t give them the space they need. Therefore, it would be good, for example, to consult them when shopping for clothes. They can also choose their meals or their own extracurricular activities. It will help them feel valued and listened to.

Control your reactions

If you get into a power struggle with the child, you will only make the problem worse. Above all, do not encourage him to behave badly only with you. Because it might make him think he has a way to manipulate you. Rather, you should stay calm. Find peaceful solutions to the problems that arise. Keep a positive and proactive attitude.

Maintain your authority

The previous two tips don’t mean you have to put up with the bad behavior and do nothing else. You should always clarify the boundaries. Show him and explain to him that he has no choice but to accept them  and that his fits will get him nowhere.

While it is good to negotiate on some issues, there are others, for example, homework, where he has no choice. Even if you have a hard time making it clear to her, you have to. Finally, it is very common to see children behaving badly with their parents. The most important thing in these cases is knowing how to react to these situations and act in time  to avoid the deterioration of your relationship with your children.